as i keep on failing my GMAT tests, i never really paid attention to the official score report because, well, it doesn't really matter that much if i SUCKED at it.

but now that i got the courage to see the full report... i can only say...
GMAT, you #@$%&$...!!!
is there any way to average AWA with the quant/verbal scores? GEEZ!

it seems that i am a good at BS. le uber sigh.

shouldn't be procrastinating on blogger... but i'm feeling lazy... yet i have nothing new for blog entry... and it's so effing hot... and i shouldn't procrastinate anymore...

so here it is, another beautiful song. lol

---------------------------------------------

Where I stood
by Missy Higgins

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

Mystery finally solved!

Back in May, 2007, we shaved Kenny for the first time to spare him from the unbearable heat that strikes Taiwan every Summer. It's a razor-near-skin buzz, taking away all of his fluffy white fur, and reducing his size from size 0 to size -2. Click here to refresh memory.

Some think that the cut looks absolutely ridiculous. If Kenny could appreciate beauty, he would be so ashamed of himself that he would want to hide under the couch; and whoever committed such crime simply... didn't have the rights to be around dogs.
But hey, Kenny doesn't say anything so we'll just pretend that he's happy with his yearly buzz.

However, Kenny's controversial look had always cast a doubt in us: his look made him look like someone/something from a cartoon/show/movie that none of us could identify.
... until now.

Don't you think that there's some resemblance between buzzed Kenny and (drums roll...) Dobby the house slave from Harry Potter?!?!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~
Kenny, you're way much cuter than Dobby. We love you~

serendipity, eh?

i finished reading 2 books that were started a couple months back. those books, tho interesting, carried covers that appear to be a sick joke poorly played on myself, by me. the book titles were: 1) He's just not that into you and 2) Then we came to the end.

wtf... how appropriate, the timing.
the 2nd book is actually a fiction about corporate story, but i chuckle sarcastically at the unintentional irony that lies beneath.

there seems to be a lot of "coincidental(?) serendipity" happening around me lately. i'm gonna wait for the next big sign to come.

just for the record, my current reading is entitled "Eat, pray, love" (courtesy of amy), which also suits me perfectly now since it follows my apparent book-that-reflect-life trend.

divine intervention? planned path of fate? sheer coincidence or something that i brought to myself?
whatever. bring it on.

Back to Start

I'm stronger than I thought.
After receiving 2 (almost consecutive) slaps on my face, it's quite astonishing that I'm still standing. Wobbly maybe, but moving along. Despite the nausea and sickening numbness in my head, I have to give more credit to my own courage.

My brain hasn't been able to stop thinking, reasoning, pondering these "happenings" over and over. As much as I tried to appease my emotions initially, it seemed that the more more I chew over them, the angrier I got. I won't blame anyone for what had happened, it was the result of several factual elements that lead to it. No, in the end, I grew angrier towards myself, for noticing the signals, brushing them away in hopes that it will dissipate eventually, and letting them simmer, until a point where nothing can be done to amend. Again, I was too gullible.

And these slaps served well as brutal, yet alarming, wake up calls.

For the last several months, I have dreamed of and lived in a false illusion. A mirage too beautiful and enchanting to pull myself away from. I didn't want to wake up either, for I was too addicted by its poison that restrained me from observing the reality around me. I was drowned in the whirlpool of fake happiness; not only had I lost my senses, but I've lost myself in it as well.

Now I'm back to the beginning, to where I originally left off. I even learned to appreciate those (hopefully temporary) pains. Was it necessary to be til this extent? Well... maybe not, but it was definitely effective, and I've always preferred stronger/faster doses.

I don't regret any of this, it wasn't an erroneous choice. I will not lament over woulda coulda shouldas. It was all part of the game, a big gamble with too much of myself at stake. But I set my own instructions and I followed them faithfully, so it's only fair that I face the consequences according to rules.

Doesn't matter that it didn't turn out the way I dreamed of. I'm sure I wouldn't want it to be any other way. I'm calm enough now to hold myself rational, logical, pragmatic, tempered. Reality is reminding my head to focus on being who I am, to listen to the callings that would make me happy, to seek for what I've wanted, and to selfishly spoil myself rotten again.

So I'm going to keep myself busy with all the new down-to-earth assignments. However, I still won't stop my heart from dreaming and being romantic. I will continue to love over to be loved. Because that's how I am, that's what I believe, that's how I choose to live and dream my life.

Song time!

Other side of the world
by KT Tunstall

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
The water

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world

Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

Then the fire fades away
most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Ohh.... the other side of the world
You're.... the other side of the world
To me

if you know beforehand that what you say will bring heartbreaking consequences, would you still proceed with it?
how much courage does a person need to make such decisions?

i can be impulsive, patient, caring, supportive, understanding, logical, sensitive, and so much more... but sometimes, i'm just not brave enough.