有點了解小馬多年前給我的一個小建議
愛與被愛 會有不同的體驗
愛一個人 有時會是痛苦的 但心甘情願
被愛 可能不會是預期想要的 但是比較幸福的

再怎麼選擇 我還是寧願當愛人的那一方
我自己做出的決定 敢作敢當敢承受所有後果

假象? 幻覺? 錯亂? 寂寞?
拋棄種種理性邏輯
我投降 沉淪了
現在 心甜甜的

One year

and finally, this date has arrived.

happy f*cking 1 year annyversary.
yup, i can't belive i left seattle for one full year now.

a year ago, i was happily surrounded by great company but had to say goodbye to them in tears. 6 months ago, i wrote an entry about my semi-annyversary, wondering about the whereabouts of my future and my personal plans. and now, this one year window allows me to make some comments and reflections.

many things can happen in 1 year, 12 months, 52 weeks and 365 days. shifts in culture, environment, people, personality, habits. subtle professional, mental, and of course, personal growth.
all these changes, like everything else in life, can be weighted from their pros and cons. in my case, i regret coming back to taiwan. i've wondered too many times all the "what-ifs" that's it's almost driving me insane. i love seattle, i miss seattle, i wanna go back, now.
but on the brighter side, i wouldn't have noticed the things that i took for granted unless i had lost them. if i hadn't come back, i wouldn't have known the importance of the things that i left behind, i wouldn't have gotten my job, wouldn't have understood the shitty situation in tw, which wouldn't have helped me in determining what i really want for myself in the future.

1 year down, and a few more years to go.
i'm patient... i'm patient... i can wait... (constant brainwashing myself)

can't help but remember the 2000 f*ucking 8?! hahahahaha~ >___<

happy stupid depressing annyversary to myself =____=

my first gokon

gokon (聯誼) refers to an informal date where equal amount of single males and females engage in certain group activity, in hopes to develop a further stronger "friendship". such activities normally include dinner at restaurants, drinks at bars, outdoor events like BBQ or sightseeing, or like in my case, karaoke.

so yes, i went to my first gokon last friday.
for those who know me, i'm sure u've heard bout my skepticism towards blind dates and meeting people for the sake of finding potential candidates for future relationships. it's not natural, nor right in my opinion. i mean, how desperate are you to get yourself involved in that?
not to mention all those scary stories that they show on tv about gokons: weird people (ie. nerds, geeks, perverted old men), selfish people, rude people, arrogant people, one-night-stand minded people, etc etc etc...
bbbrrrr.... me shivers...

yet, i went anyway.
claire: hey claudia, are you doing anything this friday? wanna go out?
me: huh? what's going on?
c: uhm... there's a gokon, and i needa find girls. it's with some TI guys
m: ... (frown) how many have u found so far?
c: 2. just... you and me...
m: ............................... let me know later if you really cannot find other grls...

my first and foremost gokon didn't turn out as bad as i had in mind. it was a total of 4 grls and 4 guys, and on our way to the karaoke, claire said it was ok for us to leave if we feel that the situation was getting uncomfortable. when we went to our k-room, 2 TI (Texas Instrument) guys were already there, singing and eating their dinner, the others were still in their office. and so we started talking, trying to get to know each other, and of course singing.
here's what i like and don't like about karaokes: the music can get so loud that you can't hear your conversations. so it's good if you don't want to talk, but it's not that good if you want to know each other better.
well, anyway, those guys were cool, and since it was a bit hard to chat, we mostly sang and ate food, and some random chitchats and jokes around. later the other guys and another girl joined, still all pretty nice and friendly. no sense of awkwardness at all, but a very happy friendly gathering.

hehehe, so yes, i don't think it was a gokon in the end. felt more like a friends' hangout than any informal date; gender representatives were not equally distributed, and some were not single. so yeah~ i'm glad i met new friends and we all had fun in the karaoke place~
hahahaha, now if all the gokon were like this, wouldn't that be sweet?!

gillian, alice, jasper and andy

and a pic w/all the pretty ladies (elsa, gillian, alice, claire)

i have to admit that it was fun, we didn't leave the place till 11pm. nevertheless, i still refuse to go to gokons if given the chance. =P

just feel like uploading some old pix

i've been wanting to write an entry bout yui's visit to tw, but but... never had the chance to do so so far!!!
i'm sorry yui!!!
that's why i'm putting these pix instead =D

First morning @ Chiufeng. Yummy tapioca dessert and a lot of local artcraft ^__^

Afternoon snack @ the world's tallest building's food court.

Recalling some childhood memories, or memories from trips to G.I. Joe's, hehe

Regardless of my lack of blog entry, we had a BLAST. ^___^

Yui~ come back to Taiwan!!! you still haven't tried the rest of the food!!!

met up with 2 old friends for dinner the other evening. actually, it was dinner with my 2 old friends and a baby. yeah, my friend's baby, Jean.
that friend of mine has already been mentioned on my blog before, i visited her last year in LA, on my Yosemite road trip, when she was there expecting for her baby to be born. cute pictures of us were also posted on that blog

well, this is the part that i didn't mention before. a few days after my visit, Jean was born. one month ahead of time, emergency cesarian, because there was too much liquid in her body.
that scared the hell out of my friend because the baby was immediately sent to ICU and the doctors sticked quite a handful of tubes in her little body in order to keep her alive.
it's scary how fragile a small life can be.
those days were the worst days that a mother can ever face: living under constant fear that your baby might leave you and this world anytime

fortunately, little jean pulled it out. and she's now 13 months old. it was my first time meeting little jean, and honestly, she was nowhere near what i had in mind. coz... that baby didn't look like a 13mo old at all!! she was... quite big! hahahahaha~~~ i would guess that that was an average size of a 2-3 yr old actually.
it was funny to see how my friend, still in her petite chopstick shape as usual, was pushing this huge baby cart along the streets. ok, huge compared to her size, but it look quite normal when i was pushing it.

my friends are still the same, same old care for each other, hence our meeting was still the same as well. except that this time, we had an active baby that was climbing up and down the table, running around the restaurant (thank god the restaurant wasn't crowded at all), and pulling everything she sees within her range. there was no minute of peace during dinner, yet we all enjoyed it. happy to see that my friends are doing ok, and even happier to see that little jean is healthy and ready to start her little life. there are some scars left on her body from the old tubes, but i am so proud of her wounds. they represent her courage that fought agaist death, her strive and longing for survival.

it's amazing how strong a small life can be