緣分

我相信世界上有種元素叫緣分的存在
想一想 若沒有的話 那是什麼力量使人互相吸引 認識 信任 來往 相隨?
所有的關係都有緣 並不是單單的男女互動而已
家庭 朋友 師生 情人 所有人與人之間的交情 我都認為是環繞在緣分上

但 什麼又是緣分? 是命 是人造 風水天倫地合 還是那所謂的... 火花 化學作用?
懶又時常遲豫不決的我 喜歡說是以上所有因素的綜合
但我也覺得緣和分是必須在一起才能到達 '效果'
若說 '緣' 算是今生人為因素造成 那 '分' 就等於要靠命運注定了吧
要兩種因素結合在一起 威力才會達到最高點
好麻煩也好複雜...
有時會聽到一對互相喜歡的人 但他們可能因為外圍因素 阻止他們在一起
就算在喜歡對方 但還是無法抵抗命運的玩弄
好個討厭的 '有緣沒份' 阿...
難道要在一起 不能只靠喜歡嗎? 為什麼愛不能像電影裡所播的 征服一切困難 有情人終成眷屬呢?
現實好像沒那麼美好的事厚?!

前幾天和朋友聊了一下 談談一些心事 談了男女之間的事
結果越聊我自己越搞混
是什麼使兩方吸引? 人是如何發現喜歡對方? 又為何喜歡對方?
會使人欣賞 喜歡的是對方給你的新鮮感? 安全感? 不同感? 還是那和自己相同的親切感?

有時不同的人在一起 能達到互補的作用
有時相同的人在一起 不需太多言語也能猜到對方想什麼
但也有時不同的人在一起 會因 '太不同' 而分裂
但也有時相同的人在一起 日子太清淡而覺得無聊分手
知道如何找到合適的人還真是一種學問啊!

當你覺得找到的時候 你能確定那人真的是理想中的白馬王子 或美麗公主嗎?
為何有時你覺得緣分到時 那卻是老天給你開的一大玩笑?
對於那種命運的捉弄時 你又何以對待?
還是難道愛真的是盲目的 所以當有情人一頭栽下時 旁觀者只能在旁嘆氣 就算明知不會有結果 但還是要給他們加油 然後等悲劇發生時 再借給他們一個能用來哭泣的肩膀嗎?

難道那是上輩子互欠的? 難道所謂的 '分' 是上輩子定下來的 所以難以更改?
百年修得同船度 千年修得共枕棉 那這樣我不就得修一卡車輩子才能得到我想要的美好緣分?
好複雜 好複雜歐...

5 7 23

so there goes another year. hm... like mark said, a lot of things happened during this year, it's quite hard to remember all right now...

one thing that i'm kinda happy about is that i finally decided what to do with my life after graduation. YAY! having a rough draft of future is a good thing, and having a plan B is even better! it's a bit intriguing how, after all my journey, i come to decide to go back to tw by the end of the year. so i guess my journey (exile??) is finally coming to and end, along with what seemed endless years of student life. i've met/seen/got to know so many cool/interesting/lovely/dear friends and went through some interesting/unforgetable experiences, i feel that i've grown (i hope i did), and i hope that those past experiences will help me have a better understanding of life later on in the future.
future seems so far away yet it's so close...

oh, i have to thank a lot of pple for planning/running around for my bday. thanx bren, mark, yui, aya, al, xj, yy, tom, etc etc...
hehe, special thanx to mark, yui and aya! i still haven't heard bout the stories behind my gift... thank you guys for not buying me a backpack!! wahahahaha

23 is... how to say... i never thought about becoming 23. it's like, you dream when you're little about turning 16, 18, 21, 30, etc, but you never think of the #23. this is such a transitional number. you're not that "young" anymore, but not "old" either. uhm... is it a useless #? now that i'm 23, i'll just wait for 25 to come, jump everything in between. Haha! jump in multiples of 5 from now on.
maybe a reason why it's hard for me to accept this number is that i've always pictured someone 23 yr-old with some 'kind' of success, either school, career, family, bla bla, you know?! at least have something that they can be proud of in their lives. not like my situation right now, just uh... waiting for graduation, waiting for summer to come, and waiting for a lot of scratching during the next few months. (oh man... this is so sad....)
other reason is that... i imagined myself a bit different at this age. for some reason i feel that i haven't changed that much, that the way i'm thinking is still the same as what it used to be. is it because i'm constantly changing everyday so i don't feel the change?
oh well...

one good thing that happened for my bday was that our special friend, aya, is attached too!!! YAY!!! that's like one of the best gifts that i can ever ask from her! man, i've been wondering how aya's bf would look like for so long. and now that i now, he's just a MALE, FRENCH VERSION of AYA!!! WAAAHAHAHAHA, why i never thought bout that?!
CONGRATULATIONS AYA!!!!!