this is F..... wrong

i've never felt like this before. i think out of all the things that i've done wrong, this makes it to the ranking #1 of "i nong's damn stupid actions (kick her ass!)" list. makes me want to cry but i'm out of tears. where should i begin?

today is sun sept 26, my summer break is close to its end. alan and i have both booked for today's flight to go back to seattle since our fall quarter will start on sept 29, just a few days away. so early this morning, i've prepared everythin, got all my documents, eticket checked, everythin packed to be ready for my flight.

before i left the house, i called my fav pple to say goodbye, and said goodbye to my family in tears, cried like crazy (as usual), then sat my whiny ass in the car, ready to depart to the airport. we got to our destination in very short time, and durin the ride, i was thinkin of how quick time has passed, i've already been back in tw for 1 month! wow! haven't been back in tw for 1 1/2 years and now i'm headin back to seattle again, back to the books again.
i was happy and sad at the same time. on one hand, i kinda want to go back to seattle coz i really miss it somehow, but when i think of the comin up quarter, my head starts to hurt a little. still, i was anxious to go back to seattle, i miss my bed a lot (miss you miss you miss you~~~)
so yeah, i did enjoy my trip to tw this time, got plenty of time to rest, and ate a lot of stuff. even though the heat and the humidity are huge pains in my butt, and the mosquitoes bites are like hell to me, i still like my vacation overall

... until just now.
it's now sun sept 26, 20:41pm, and how come i got internet? i'm supposed to be on the plane, watchin watever movie they are playin, rite? RITE?!!!
but no~~~~~ i'm at home. why is that?!
well, i went to the airport alrite, got all my passport and I-20 alrite, plane ticket and confirmation # also checked, yet i froze when the counter lady told me...
"your visa to the states has expired, we're sorry, we cannot let you get on the plane"
so i rechecked the expiration date of my visa-- JUNE 2004
oh yeah... F###. that's what i thought
this is the worst thing that i've done, EVER! i cannot believe it... i can't go back to the states until i get a new visa to the states. i soooooo wanted to cry, but i was out of tears.

completely shocked, me and my parents walked back to the car, so i called some pple to tell 'em that i cannot go back, and of coz, their reactions to my incident was "... you PIG HEAD! WAAHAHAHAHA, now you're doomed! get ready to be flunked!"
yup, now i completely admit 110% that i'm a pig head, i'm a F###kin pig head X N!!!
seriously, i want to be on that flight BR 032 from TPE to SEA, but now i'm facin the pc, preparin my documents again, so i can go to the US embassy tmr morning

i guess it's my destiny to eat the mooncakes that i bought back as souvenirs here in tw. sorry guys, no more mooncakes for you, they are gonna be eaten by me coz i'm a stupid selfish person who forgot to renew the visa
please, dun let any more wrong things happen.... PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

the power of love

i met w/an old friend of mine yesterday.

we've known each other for quite a while, and used to hang out as a group of friends. our relationship has never been really close, but we still keep in touch w/each other, chat online every now and then, and go out for a drink whenever there's a chance.
he has always been a very straightforward guy. sensible, logical, objective would be my impression from him. a little bad tempered i would have said if it's a couple of years ago.

i remember once, he and his brother got in a this big fight with some other pple. it was a HUGE argument that almost ended up in a fist fight. me and my friends wanted to make them feel better, but we all knew that they are very bad tempered, if you get close when they are not in a good mood, you may get scolded like crap. so in the end, we didn't do anythin, we just stepped back and waited for their heat to come down, they'll come talk to us when they feel better.
so that was our lesson ever since: he's bad tempered and when he's in a bad mood, don't talk to him unless he takes the initiative.

but yesterday some funny thing happened, and i'll remember the event for the rest of my life.

my friend called to hang out in tamsui coz it has places to look around and eat during nights and weekends, and coz he was bored in his dorm and his gf was out of town. so we've decided to meet round 7pm to go out for a walk, get some drinks with some typical friend to friend chit-chat and stuff.
the first thing he said when we met, he told me that he told his gf that he was goin to meet me sometime. he said that he told his gf about me, not in detail, but explaining that i was an old friend from argentina, and we had to meet up for a drink and to catch up w/the old times.

i was happy in a way that he explained to his gf. i think honesty is one of the main keys that makes a relationship last for long time, i value honesty the most. he then also told me that his gf can be a jealous person, so yeah, explainin everythin is the best idea. i guess eventhough i'm an old distant friend, i'm still a "female" friend.

so we talked for a while and walked along the street when we saw this snoopy store and went inside almost immediately coz his gf loves snoopy. we looked back and forth in the store searchin for a gift for the gf as a 'souvenir'. the problem was that every thing i picked, he had already bought it for her, yet he insisted on the search and walked around the store like 5 times coz "since i'm already here, i have to get her somethin", that's what he said.
how sweet of him, i thought, he must really like his gf.
unfortunately, we could not get her anything at the time, coz really, she has it all!! but he remembered the store for future shopping references.

we later found a place to sit and continued chattin when his phone rang, it was his gf. i kept silent while he talked on the phone and heard him say in a very soft and tender voice "i'll go back soon... yeah... i'll go back soon... i'll go back soon..."
i could not stand it anymore so i made him say instead:
"i'll go back NOW... yes lah... i'll go back now ok? give you a call when i get home". click, he turned off the phone.

PUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
i could not stop laughin after that!!! oh my gosh... my so feared friend whispering like that on the phone?! that was really somethin!!!!
even my friend himself felt embarrased goin through that in front of me.
he sighed and realized how jealous his gf was. he re-acted the conversation and it was somethin like:
"...where are you now?"
"in tamsui, w/my friend that i mentioned before"
"now? but it's late! go home now lah~!!!" (...it was just around 10pm)
"ok lah, i'll go back soon, i'll go back soon..."

kekekekeke, FINALLY saw somethin that i can use to blackmail my friend in the future!
he then asked me if i would act like that given the case, i said no right away, coz i understand that although in a relationship, each person still have their own group of friends that their partner may or may not know, and i also believe in friendship between men and women. i won't stop or question my bf if he has to go meet a female friend, similarly, i would expect the same thing from him. you should trust the person you luv, rite?
"you think like a guy", that was the luvly response from my so-sweet friend, "no wonder you're still single, maybe you should not look for a guy, but for a grl instead".

ware... @#$^%$^%#
wateva, i have something to blackmail him.
it's amazin how luv can change a person like that. in front of us, he's so loud, so direct, so... macho. but in front of his gf, he changed 180 degrees. he said that he will talk to his gf about this, will try to find a balance out of it. but after the incident, somehow i think that he'll do what his gf asks him to do. hehehe. coz...
it's the power of luv mah!

reason why...

ok, i did this blog the other way around...
i think i'm supposed to talk or at least give a reason why i wanted to start the blog first, instead of jumpin into my thailand trip, and end up w/my sad comments bout poor elephants...

oh well, i can sometimes be very impulsive

ahora, emezemos otra vez. decidi finalmente en escribir este blog porque nunca tuve la costumbre de escribir diario personal, trato de acordar cosas usando my cabeza. but the sad thing is, my brain's not workin very well... pple who know me know that i'm searchin for a new brain, mi bocha me re falla...

antes usaba agendas, me acuerdo eso era en secundaria. todos los anios compraria una agenda nueva, completamente distinta a la anterior. y siempre lo decoraba bien bonita, con stickers, papeles, cositas, y estaba siempre perfumada (de los samples q me los agarraba de las farmacias) then... little by little, i got lazy

that's other point that my friends should have already known. i'm quite lazy. i can be VERY lazy when i can't find the purpose or motivation of doing things... and when i'm really into somethin, i would use 80% of my energy to do it. hahahaha. what were u expectin? 110%? apppfffttttt
that is for athlets lah! and i dun like sports at all!

back to the topic. why blog? well, then i thought since i missed, oh no, better say, i forgot most of my past (sounds like amnesia, huh? btw, thanx mark! my live-dictionary), i dun want to miss anythin else. actually, i don't keep my hopes too high for this one either lah... we'll see how long it'll last.

i gotta mention somethin first. this is MY BLOG, so i'll write is as I wanted. if you readers cannot understand what the hell i'm writin, then sorry, i cannot do anythin 'n i dun care. i write/type as i think. and my thoughts are very... random, so... yeah... wateva. have a little chat w/me in person and you'll realize that i talk randomly too.... hahaha (ok, this does NOT sound like a college student, poor my parents who are affording my tuition... sorry >__<)

i guess i should introduce my self a little bit?

ok, i'm a very normal, common, zero-original grl. born in a normal tw family, in taipei city (a place that i luv and hate at the same time). got a sis and a bro, both really old, so i was and still am their toy ever since little. no, i'm not the pet of the house, i'm the TOY. pple don't drag their pets along the house by their legs, pets are not thrown to the bed.
so yeah, then i went to argentina for a couple years. spent my youth there, quite fun, met a lot of nice and good pple who i still keep in contact. spanish can be my second language, i guess... that's why you can find some parts in spanish in this blog. i like spanish, it's cooool. i'm the only one in my familiy who can make the R sound. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~~~~~~~~~~~~

bueno, entonces disfrute la mayoria de mi tiempo en argentina. si me dan la oportunidad de cambiar mi vida, no cambiaria nada, posta. todo lo q paso en arg fue una experiencia maravillosa, y me siento super afortunada de tener la oportunidad de conocer toda esta gente q conoci, y de mandar todas esas cagadas y pavadas en mi vida. muchas cosas pasaron alla, y recuerdo cada uno de ellos con sonrisa en mi cara. ^___^

pero arg nunca fue mi lugar, creo... tenia casa y familia ahi, tenia todos mis amigos ahi, pero de vez en cuando me sentia un poco sola, como q no pertenezco al lugar. aunque hablo el idioma, tengo el acento portenio y todo, aunque conozco la cultura arg y me siento comoda, siempre senti q hay otro lugar en q me sentiria... 'home'. i would go back to tw and feel out of place, but when i'm in arg i feel nostalgic. ironic.

then i went to LA for a year. studied in a community college there, called mt. SAC, funny name in a funny city called walnut (hey, nat 'n i find it funny). but then i wanted to move somewhere else coz LA was too hot for me, dry and hot, and i didn't have a car, and not many friends there (no vos lah, daniel). SO, i chose seattle. why seattle? dunno... hear that it was nice once, heard that uw is a very pretty campus once, and somehow, got sticked w/the idea that "i want to go to uw, i want to go to seattle".

maybe this is the so-called fate pah...
i'm happy that i chose seattle. if you give me the chance to turn back time, i still won't change a thing. uw is wonderful, expensive, but wonderful. pple there are amazin as well. i really like it

so yup, i'm studyin business in uw, livin in a shared house w/very funny roommates, and hangin out w/nice friends. what else can i wish for?

oh yeah... a bf would be the perfect touch! hahahaha. someone like orlando bloom would be even better! if orlando is too hard, then i won't mind jerry from F4 lah~ (drool...). i found out the other day, that i'm the LAST person out from ALL my groups of friend to have a bf. sad~
the LAST.

one of my best friends in tw got married last year, she's livin a happy ever after w/her hubby. and yesterday, i heard that my other friend just gave birth to a little boy. and my other friend is plannin a trip w/her stable bf, and my other friend is doin quite good w/her dunno how many year relationship, and my housemate is very stable w/his LDR, and... and... and... so many cases, and i'm in NONE of 'em

q mierda es esto?! posta... para agarrar de los pelos. pido tanto? no ah! nunca senti q pido demasiado... aunque una vez hice una lista de las cosas q espero de un chico, y la lista duro como 1 pagina entera, pero eso era un chiste! ay... sera q leo demasado comics? y estoy siempre esperando mi principe azul? pero no ah! se q la realidad es totalmente distinto al mundo rosa, tonces??? mi vida misteriosa... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

wateva. q venga lo q venga. dun care now.

and now i realize, wait, i'm far away from my original title... i really type what comes to my mind leh!